just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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