I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
