Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
