I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
