Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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