When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Randomize
