i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I am naked and annoyed.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
