redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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