Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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