Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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