me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
