batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
