We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
