He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
