I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
