WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
