I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
my liver is dry heaving
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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