Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
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