this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
