We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
