dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
