Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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