I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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