his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
