Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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