i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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