all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
