just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
