i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
