yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
