Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
