laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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