Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
