I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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