I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
