She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
