i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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