so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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