So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
