'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
i out mim tonsoeep
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
