you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
