I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
