Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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