Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
