Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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