My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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