Christians are straight up FREAKS
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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