We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
