My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
