He kissed a someone with a penis
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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