My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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