saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Randomize
