okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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